Baby is HERE!

Here's the before picture....

Here are the after pictures....

Christian James Nielson

8 lbs. 2 0z.

June 2, 2011

We're all sooooo glad he's here!

Visits are good for my soul!

The last couple of weeks we have had the most fun with the Adams' family visiting from Utah as well as my dear friend Ande visiting from Minnesota. It was really, really great to see them all and catch up on everything!

I loved hearing how the family is doing even though we live far away from them. I love seeing how all of the cousins have grown up and matured. I love seeing the kids enjoy their cousins, and wish desperately they got to hang out together all the time.

I love how easy reconnections are when you share so much life history with someone. I love going over lots and lots of details about middle school, high school, college, old boyfriends, bad dates, hilarious mishaps, having babies, etc., with someone who was there for pretty much all of that... and still loves me.

So now everyone's gone and I am....

a) tired

b) a bit let down

c) 33 weeks pregnant

d) all of the above

Yes, you guessed it - d) all of the above.

I dropped Ande off at the airport today and am now buckling down to regular life again. We're starting to get ready for the baby, so that's exciting, we get to enjoy our Easter traditions this week, and overall life is going really well.

I'm just a bit tired. And missing our wonderful visitors.

I hope you all have a wonderful evening! ~ Emily

Top Ten Signs Your Family is Getting "BIG!"

So, I've noticed some changes over the last year or so that indicate to me we are becoming a "big" family. I decided to make a top ten list and share them with you.

Drum roll please..........

Top Ten Signs Your Family is Getting "BIG!"

10. You have to buy a toaster with four slots instead of two.

9. One box of pasta will not feed the family anymore.

8. At the store someone says to you (being seven months pregnant), "Is this your first?" and you say, "No, it's my fifth." Then they look shocked or horrified or some combination of the two.

7. When you make scrambled eggs for breakfast, it takes 15 eggs to fill everyone up.

6. You can consume an entire loaf of bread to make sandwiches for lunch.

5. At a restaurant someone says to you (being seven months pregnant), "Is this your first?" and you say, "No, it's my fifth." Then they look shocked or horrified or some combination of the two.

4. You start to use a griddle to make pancakes instead of a pan. Heck, you just start leaving the griddle on the stove and using it for everything.

3. When you're grocery shopping someone says to you, "You must be planning for some big event." Then you say, "No, I'm just shopping for my family."

2. Everywhere you go, every time you're out in public, someone says to you, "Is this your first?" and you say, "No, it's my fifth." Then they look shocked or horrified or some combination of the two.

The number one sign that your family is getting big....

1. You see a tour-guide vehicle (at least 15-20 seats) go by, and you and your husband laugh and joke that someday you might need that. You both think it's funny, but then you both independently think, "That's not a bad idea..."

I just want to say we're really enjoying these little people we're bringing into the world. It's a LOT of work, but it's good, satisfying work.

And in case you were wondering - no, it's not my first child, it's my fifth!

Nigh-Night! Emily

Spring Break!

Spring break is always a nice time to break things up from the normal routine. I really enjoy seeing what the kids decide to do for some entertainment between friends and outings. I also REALLY appreciate the beautiful weather we've been having!



The kids had a blast building a dam in the (mostly unplanted) garden... there are some peas trying to pop up in the back part of the garden.

Joel is earning his Wolf badge, Gold arrow and Silver arrow in Cub Scouts this month! One of his last achievements was to visit a firehouse and learn about fire safety, so he and Greg went for a visit today. Way to go, Joel!!

Scene 1) The kids love to hang out at the bottom of the stairs when I throw the laundry bags down.

Scene 2) Then they get hit with the bags and they all crack up. After that, Abby climbs on one and the kids give her a ride all the way to the laundry room.

I just never get tired of watching Abby haul around this very patient chicken!

Crackin' Me Up!

Hello all! Emily here - (Not really here at the beach, I'm figuratively speaking from my computer chair. I thought this would be a more enjoyable picture than me sitting in my pajamas.)

For this post, I just want to say my kids crack me up and I love having them in my life.

Abby's at it again!

Sometimes you discover your kids have commandeered the camera without your knowing...

I have no idea what the following is all about!

I accidentally erased the one of Maddie. Maybe they're being mummies?

Anyway, I really like these little people!

Good night!

Emily

Some thoughts on sympathy...

Our morning ritual when Greg heads off to work each day...

A parent loses his opportunity for good to his child, if he fails to have sympathy with this child in that child's weakness and follies and misdoings. It is in every child's nature to long for sympathy at the point where he needs it most; and when he has done wrong, or has indulged evil thoughts, or is feeling the force of temptation, he is glad to turn to some one stronger and better than himself, and make confession of his faults and failures. If as he comes to his parents at such a time, he is met with manifest sympathy, he is drawn to his parents with new confidence and new trust.
~ Charlotte Mason

The first time I read this quote, it really touched me. I think it impacted me a lot because having sympathy and compassion for my children in their weaknesses isn't my first instinct. When they make poor choices, I can be a real lecturer. Somehow I'm always afraid my children won't learn from their mistakes without me reminding them about this or that or how we "should" behave.

I realized that I am operating under the assumption they really don't know right from wrong. I have believed they somehow needed me to point out the distinction to them or there's no way they could learn it.

Charlotte Mason's approach, however, shows an intrinsic belief and trust in the child's own judgment. It proposes they do indeed already know they have done something wrong, and their own conscience is doing more teaching than a parent could ever do. When I first wanted to try this, I actually was afraid that really loving behavior and sympathy (after they've done something wrong) would somehow give them a positive reward for negative behavior. I wondered if it would do the opposite of what I wanted.

However, the idea really spoke to me, so I've been working on this approach with the kids for a while. Sometimes I remember, and sometimes I don't, but I have really liked what it has done for my relationship with the kids. When I discover something wrong, or they come and tell me about something they've done, I try to respond to them with sympathy. It creates kind of a special moment (especially compared to the adverse effect that is usually created), and they really do feel the weight of their choice without anything from me but sorrow and support. I can tell that they feel like I'm on their team, and I'm just as sorry as they are that they made an unwise choice. It makes me feel like they know I love them still in spite of their decision.

To be truly honest, when I make poor choices (which I certainly do), it is very clear to me that I have the same "longing for sympathy where I need it most" just like my kids do. I want to turn to someone "stronger and better" for help with my follies who doesn't judge harshly or reprimand me. I know when I've done something wrong and I appreciate a kind support to guide me through the consequences of the choices I've made.

Hopefully, we'll keep growing in this area. (I especially want to remember this lesson on days like today, when a child stepped on a chicken's foot and broke one of it's large toes!) I think we're all really in the same boat: learning in this life (sometimes from our mistakes) and trying to become better people. Over here at the Nielson house we'll keep floating along, and more sympathy seems like a great lifeline for that.

Have a lovely evening! ~Emily

Weekend Potpourri

Just a smattering from the past week....

Abby's latest and greatest outfits

The kids visited a local news station for a field trip. Maybe we have a couple of budding meteorologists?

Last but not least, Joel gave a talk in Primary. He did a really great job and we were all very proud of him. Here are his first paragraph and last sentence.

Everybody needs to try to be safe from the temptations of Satan. Like if you are in a maze, Heavenly Father is like a map. But Satan, in the maze, is a mistake on the map. We need to be smart about where we go and what we do.

So if you get tempted by Satan, tell him to get out of town.

Sometimes motherhood is really fun.

Good night! ~Emily

How Can We Measure Progress?

We owe it to our children to stimulate in them a wide range of interests in their elementary years. Wherever we go, whomever we talk to, whatever we see can be of some interest to children if we stand aside and let them question and consider or examine and research. It should not be "How much has our child covered?" but "How much does he care?" and "About how many things does he care?" ~Karen Andreola

As a homeschooler, I clearly have to use a somewhat different metric for tracking my children's educational progress than is typically used in schools. While I do use a couple of different curricula that guide this process in certain subjects, I don't have countless rubrics at my disposal to measure everything that my children do.

So how do I track their progress?

Well, let me start by addressing the premise in the above quote. When I first read it I have to admit I was a bit skeptical. Measuring children's progress by how much they like their subjects? What about tests and grade standards? We can't just go flitting around doing only the things that we think are fun, or what our mood happens to be that day, what kind of education is that? Most of all, no kid is just naturally going to love their homework, and therefore, want to do lots of it. Well, as time passes, I can see that the quote is not assuming we should leave out subjects that aren't our favorite, and that measuring a child's excitement about their education is a direct link to how their education is actually progressing.

As we set up our school schedule, I made sure that all the basics were given the proper time and attention: math, reading, handwriting, grammar, literature, history, music practice, and French have been staples of our daily routine. Other subjects are weekly or bi-weekly such as: science, art, geography, nature journals, a tea party/etiquette lesson and discussion, a library trip, scouts, achievement days, typing, and baking.

I have to say, at least for us, this is a pretty full schedule. Over time, a few things have dropped or evolved from the list. For example, we are taking a break from French for the rest of this year until I find a curriculum I really like. Typing, as well, has gone to the wayside as we have focused more on other things. Truthfully, winter really affects our nature journals, because who really wants to be sketching things in nature while they're freezing to death? Uh, not me, I'm kind of wimpy when it comes to cold. Also, our I dropped our weekly music study because the kids were already practicing their instruments everyday and I decided that was plenty of music study.

However, other things have gained more momentum over time as we have learned to study them in a more enjoyable way. For example, I am no artist; thus, teaching art was something I was not particularly enjoying. However, I found some FANTASTIC "living" books that have absolutely transformed our interest in art. It was something we all worked on once a week to one of the kids' favorite subjects that at times is now done 4-5 days a week. Their excitement over their art work has DIRECTLY affected how much effort they put into it. They're doing some really beautiful work right now, and I believe it's because of how much they CARE about it.

So art study is seriously better, but I have definitely seen the kids' interest in other studies improve as we have tweaked subjects to match the child and make it really interesting to them. For example, my husband had an idea to help my son, Joel (2nd grade), get more excited about writing. He thought it would be really fun for them to write letters to each other, each pretending to be a superhero.

Now, one could say, "But that's not really academic, now is it? Joel's writing shouldn't be about something silly like superheroes." Well, I can say I had a kid who was NOT interested in writing, and I now have a kid who is writing 2-3 letters per week, excited about his ideas of how to bring down Dr. Finn and Darkness (villains!), articulating those ideas, and learning oodles of spelling, punctuation, grammar, and letter form in the process. Well, I don't have an exact rubric to measure the progress that is going on, but do I need it? It's clear to me that right now, he is thriving in his writing as much as he is capable of doing.

Now on the other side of the coin, I would be lying if I said I weren't concerned about how well my kids are doing compared to other kids their ages.

So, I've tried to come up with a list of how I measure my kids' progress, both from an academic standpoint (truly measurable) and what I would call "living" standpoints (how excited, enriched, and fulfilled are my children?). In the past, it's been easy to only focus on the academic standpoints, because let's face it, isn't that what schools care about, and obviously we want our kids to get into great colleges and be successful, right? Well, one of my main goals with homeschooling has been to find the balance between high expectations for kids' learning and just flat out enjoying our lives more. Lots of learning, way less tension and stress.

Anyway, here's the list:

• I printed off the grade standards for the APS (Albuquerque Public School) system for New Mexico. The grade standards tell me, for each grade, what the child should be learning in each subject. It's incredibly detailed to the point of making lesson plans for all subjects, if I choose.
• I recently found an online standardized test from the state of Texas for grades 3-11. New Mexico doesn't require any testing for homeschoolers, but I want to get a sense of where we are (or aren't) as far as the content of these tests go. My plan is to administer the test in the spring of each school year. I also think it's important that the kids get familiar with the way these tests are set up and have some experience taking them.
• As far as math goes, my children are required to correct all mistakes immediately after I correct their assignment. Right then, no buts about it. That process ensures that they are mastering concepts as they go, and are not allowed to move on without understanding something.
• Regular use of dictionaries and thesauruses is highly encouraged.
• If I say to my kids, "It's time for history," and I hear "Yes!!!" come from their mouths, I know they are enjoying history, and therefore feeling happy and content.
• If we go on a nature outing, and the kids go running to their Dad when he gets home from work saying, "Dad! We saw a branta canadensis today!" I can tell they're happy and have learned something.
• If my then five year old sees a stick with a forked end and says, "Mom, it's just like the Nile river delta!" I can tell he is feeling excited about his history learning.
• If my daughter has a friend over and she tells him they're going to do free-form writing for fun, that tells me she's enjoying her writing.
• If my daughter asks me to give her perimeter and area problems to solve during church, I can tell she really likes math.
• If my son says, "This problem is just like a Gordian knot!" a year after we learned about Gordian knots, I can tell he really liked and picked up on that lesson.
• If I have to set my daughter's library book limit to 14 per week, I can tell she's loving reading.
• If my daughter says to me, "I had to pry that book out of Joel's hands so he could brush his teeth," that tells me he's loving reading.

These are the types of things that tell me we're making progress.

In closing, I just want to say I really want the kids to have a great education and yet have time for a really FULL, ENJOYABLE childhood. I now trust the quote above, that how much they care about a wide range of subjects directly affects how much they learn of those subjects.

I believe there are more ways than one to skin cats and measure educational progress.

Good night! ~Emily

Weekend Update

We were eating brownies at the table and the following discussion went down:

Joel: Dad, let's have a race to see who can eat their brownie first!

Greg: Okay! On your mark, get set, go!

(Greg proceeds to hork his brownie down in one messy swallow like a complete Neanderthal.)

Joel, watching intently: I meant with good manners, Dad.

Hilarious!!!!! We all cracked up.

Candid shot, anyone? Maddie caught me unawares for this beauty!

Blue and Gold Banquet skit involving camping and toilet paper. Classic!

Greg had the ingenious idea to use the old Victorian playhouse as the chicken coop. The playhouse is darling, but there are a lot of not so kid-friendly things inside, such as: small nails sticking out of the ceiling, a collapsing floor in one spot, and lots of rough, splintery wood. Because of the problems, the kids don't really spend much time in there. He and the kids worked all afternoon covering windows with chicken wire and building a door with a latch. Voila! A fabulous (and pretty cute, being a chicken coop and all) new home for the chickens.

Good night to all! ~Emily

Laying down railroad tracks...

When the rails of habit are laid down, like the tracks set out for a locomotive train, [life] can go along easily and smoothly. The train moves easily, but the laying down of the rails has taken a lot of effort. Imagine yourself as John Henry, the steel-driving man who, with determination and perspiration, hammered those rails, laying miles of track across America. ~Karen Andreola

Looking back about three or four years ago, I believe I was about as frazzled as a mother of (then) three children could be. During the school year, life was fast-paced and busy just like it is for everybody. But then school got out, and the really difficult months of the year began... summertime.

During the summer, the kids and I would be in our pajamas until who knows what time of day, the TV was such a big part of our lives the children should have been calling it "Mama," and it would honestly take HOURS to get ready to go anywhere. We could never find shoes (insert any useful item in the "shoes" spot), or the house would be so messy I felt guilty going to do fun things, or just the thought of getting us all ready and out of the house almost sent me over the edge. Honestly so many things were really out of whack, I was feeling extremely overwhelmed and it was seriously affecting both mine and the children's happiness.

Well, after some seriously sluggish and frustrating months, I finally decided I could not take it anymore!! I knew that somehow, somewhere, we had to take some action. I had read about families who lived on farms, and every morning they got up and did their morning chores regardless of season or weather or moods or anything else. It was just understood that every day they all got up and did their chores.

I thought about this idea of getting up and doing chores every day...with the kids getting dressed and ready for the day regardless of whether things were planned for that day or not...and I wanted them to do it all without having to prod them continuously. The eventual goal was that they would get in the HABIT of doing it everyday so that it would be as common to them as eating, breathing, going to school, etc.

So, with all of that in mind, I set up the following chart for each kid. They got to make and decorate it themselves, and the boys' charts had pictures at the time because they couldn't read yet. The one below is Maddie's. The kids were around 7, 5, and 3 at the time.




1. Make bed
2. Clean room
3. Get dressed
4. Brush teeth
5. Comb hair
6. Put on shoes and socks

I had read that habits take about 1 month to form. With that goal in mind, we set about getting these habits licked!

Uh...... little did I know, hmmm.....

How do I put this? I discovered I couldn't train my children because...

I myself was completely unable to be this consistent.

Give me a job, give me school, give me anything with outside pressure and I am GREAT at making sure those things get done. But just at home? With nobody looking? When I was tired or not in the mood or the kids REALLY didn't want to do their "pockets?" (That's what the chart came to be called, because of the little paper pockets where the card would go when the chore was done.)

I was terrible at enforcing this! Not only that, it almost killed me to admit how terrible I was at enforcing it all. I kept justifying myself that my kids were just overly lazy or not driven but soon it became blatantly clear to me that the problem was....... ME!

I wanted to be the farm mother I had envisioned - up early, making a good, hearty breakfast with children doing all of their chores cheerfully, and something awesome, like a blue bird or a cow singing me a song on my windowsill all before 5:00 am or so.

Maybe I was being a little too idealistic....

At any rate, it became abundantly clear that I, myself, had a problem with the pockets as much as my kids did. A month came and went. Then another month. Then another. Many, many months went by and we just kept trying. We'd often miss days, and weekends were particularly hard since they were all so different depending on what was going on. But we kept trying.

After about a year - literally - I felt myself, finally, getting trained that I had to enforce the pockets every day. The kids, because of the inconsistency, still dawdled, complained, and dragged their feet about it all. We went through about a dozen different consequences for not doing pockets, including: no TV, no friends, etc. (We put a positive spin on it: If you do your pockets, you earn TV time and friend time!) For various reasons, (mostly because I felt like a policeman all the time) these consequences weren't really satisfactory for me. I just wanted them to get into the habit and to do their pockets every day.

Well, there was no magic, we just didn't give up. After a year of training me, then another year training the children, we found our entire family settling into the pockets routine. We eventually chose an immediate consequence for a job well done or undone, which was breakfast. If the pockets are done, the child gets to enjoy a wonderful, family breakfast with the rest of us. If the child chooses to play during that time, they may wait for snack time at 10:30 for their own, personal breakfast.

So now, 3 and 1/2 years or so into this whole thing, I can really, really tell you that it has made a huge difference in our lives. The kids rarely ever miss breakfast, their jobs are done, the house is cleaner, but something else has happened that is even better.

I discovered there's a different feeling in the house after pockets have been done in the morning. The kids feel good, they feel proud of themselves, they're excited to jump into whatever else is to be done that day, and I get a wonderful opportunity to praise them every morning for doing a job well done and being responsible people. The whole process has really generated a feeling of, well, happiness in the mornings. Even better, that happiness and productivity from the morning affects the entire day.


This morning I found my kids with beds made, rooms clean, and church clothes on. Abby did her part by putting on her swimming suit. : )


I'm so thankful!!!!! What if we had never done this and I had quit one of the thousands of times I really wanted to quit over the first couple of years? It was SO HARD laying down these railroad tracks of habit, just like John Henry in the above quote, I felt like we were literally laying down steel, every day, to make this finally happen.

I'm so thankful we all stuck in there until this entire thing has truly become a habit for all of us. Now that this habit is in place, we've been able to slowly add other habits that are important to us as well. The children getting themselves up to their own alarm clocks, daily scripture reading and family prayer, and a daily routine chart have all been added. I like my days SOOOO much more than I used to a few years ago! I really, really love them, actually.

Charlotte Mason said:

The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days; on the other hand she who lets habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction.

I found this quote in the middle of my efforts to establish our pockets routine. I thought of it all the times I wanted to quit, and hoped with everything I had in me that it was true. I can happily report that she is right - I am truly enjoying so many more "smooth and easy days" and the tracks we have laid will ensure more of them for my children, as well.

I'm so thankful for having the opportunity to learn this lesson!!

Have a good night!

Emily

"Plunging into vital knowledge..."

We endeavor that [the child] shall have relations of pleasure and intimacy established with as many as possible of the interests proper to him; not learning a slight or incomplete smattering about this or that subject, but plunging into vital knowledge, with a great field before him which in all his life he will not be able to explore.

-Charlotte Mason

We had the pleasure this morning of attending the first of three Writers' Workshops presented by Miss Holly Roth, a seventeen year old college student attending CNM. She gave a fantastic presentation on story-writing, covering the importance of intriguing first sentences and the climactic rise and fall of good story composition.

The information was great, but what I really loved was how she taught it! She made it really fun and exciting and the kids were all really engaged. I thought they were certainly "plunging into vital knowledge." Thanks, Holly!

Also, the kids are loving the chickens.

Have a wonderful evening! -Emily

Without being asked...

So my son, Joel, has been asking to take karate lessons for a really long time. I have to admit I have really dragged my feet because karate seems like a sport where the main goal is to hurt other people, try to keep yourself from getting hurt, or use your hand to break blocks of wood (all of which seem quite unpleasant to me!). However, I decided I needed to let all that go and give him a chance to try something he was really interested in. So in January, both he and Brendan started karate lessons.

And..... I must say it's pretty awesome - in ways I never would have expected. The premise of karate, at least where the boys are studying, is to have excellent self-discipline, respect, and obedience skills. (Especially physically, they must never use their karate skills other than in self-defense.) Hello, I'm in love! Every mother out there wants her children to have more of these three important life skills.

(Plus the boys get to do all kinds of kicks, punches, and generally rough stuff, so of course they love it, too.)

My personal favorite is the boys have on-going homework to show they are developing self-discipline. The dojo's definition of self-discipline is to do things "without being asked." So, their homework is to do their household responsibilities without any prompting at all. If I remind them to do something, they do not get any credit at all.

So imagine how lovely it is when my boys come running to me saying, "I made my bed without being asked!" "I took my dishes to the sink without being asked!" "I set the table without being asked!" I can listen to that ALL day. I have to add to this the fact that my children have a good chunk of chores every single day, and they are already pretty good at doing them. But this whole deal is just taking it to a new level.

In a broader sense, isn't this idea of "without being asked" kind of the best way we can possibly interact with each other and the broader outside world? If we could: do kind things, pay our bills, live good, responsible lives, grow spiritually, work hard, help others, etc., etc., without being asked, wouldn't so many needed, beautiful things happen continuously all on their own?

In closing, have my feelings about karate changed? I would say definitely yes, but the first time my boys actually hurt someone, get hurt, or break wood with their bare hands, I will be tempted to reassess that answer.